The Glory Hound Wrestling With Jesus
I want to follow up on my last entry. I received some helpful and encouraging feedback and I want to flesh out what I have been wrestling with. Everything I wrote on my last post is how I feel, but not what is true. I was recently reminded that I have been successful. A lot of great things have happened to me. I have a great family, I have graduate degree and I am throwing my life into a church I believe in and love. But, the fundamental issue I am wrestling with is my heart. A heart that always wants more. A heart that will not be satisfied until it finds rest in Jesus (Props to St. Augustine). God is stripping away my layers of self-reliance and refining my heart in the fires of His loving will for me. Anyway, it has been really good for me to face my ungratefulness. It is also painful to see your own heart. Through this all it has caused me to turn to Jesus in a deeper, more profound way.
posted by Jeff and Jodie @ 9:15 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I guess what's encouraging to me Jeff is that God's work in your life isn't simply about you. It's also about the world around you in Hanover.
You know, the whole "blessed to be a blessing" thing with Abraham? I think what I heard last time we talked was that as your heart is wrestled by God, he's not leaving the focus all on you, but in the process is blessing Hanover. Very cool.
Dan,
You are so right. My life isn't about me. I have been so "me-focused." Here's the thing, I think what I am realizing is that I can't make myself be outward focus. I have tried sucking up and dealing. It has been God forcing me in my position to reach out and love people even when I am having a bad day, when I doubt God and myself that he uses me.
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